Getting to know me...could be an interesting statement if it weren't open to so many interptations. How does one actually get to know somebody...or themselves for that matter. Do you pull out the picture albums, the old photos or the complete set of diaries since your sweet sixteenth birthday and review your life's backroads? Well, I've done that I suppose having put every picture I could scrap up on my computer. The diaries are in my head. Now...Who am I?
Well I've been a busboy, a bartender, a pipefitter, a convenience store manager, a fine-dinning waiter, a restaurant manager and even a supervisor over Subway sandwichs shops in Atlanta, Georgia. I've sold shoes, jewery and everything under the sun. I've been just about everything one could be without a college degree. I do have a degree in GayLiving and Better Living with Chemistry. I could write a book on how to have sex with a different man every night. How to find the best drugs in town. And how to walk upright after two days of non-stop drinking. Not exactly admissions you'd wanna frame on your wall. So...who am I now? That's the question I pose to myself these days.
According to the manuel for better Gayliving, I'm a really old man. Any guy over thirty is way past his prime. I can remember thinking how old forty sounded. How old forty looked on men back then. And now I'm going to be fifty in September. Wow! What happened? Like Rip van Winkle, I seemed to have slept through most of my life. Of course that's not true. If I really put my mind to it, the images, the memories come flooding back in a rush that would send most sane men deep into a walking coma. So many faces of men. So many times taking that short cut to intimacy hoping to find Mr. Right. My my...what a joke that was on me. I can tell you with great confidence now, that Mr. Right isn't out there hanging on a meat hook. He's usually standing right there in front of you. The two men I've loved most in the world were men I ran across but bodily fluids were not exchanged. Like Jerry who was with John Ed in Atlanta while I was there in the early eighties and David, who as a very young kid in Mobile came across my path. How odd life is sometimes. I hope after we die, we discover there is some meaning to this mortal coil existence otherwise I'll probably loose whatever favor I have with the Good Lord.
I'm a gentle man, not too bad looking, kind of nice like an old pair of levi jeans and quite loveable. The term loveable triggers the thought of him. I think of David often. Of the things we did together and the times we talked quietley in the night coming down from a cocaine high...both of us stoned and doing vodka shots. Playing yatzy or dominoes and listening to his club music. The frozen moments of the past when he looked at me and time stood still. I think to myself I'll never feel that way again and yet even as I think it, say it or right now writing it, I know it's not true. I have alot of love in my heart. I have been so starved for love all my life and now I realize its not what you get out of love but what you give in love. Who am I. I'm a LOVER of men. A gayman in search of another gayman to share and exemplify the greatest thing on earth. To Love !
Well I've been a busboy, a bartender, a pipefitter, a convenience store manager, a fine-dinning waiter, a restaurant manager and even a supervisor over Subway sandwichs shops in Atlanta, Georgia. I've sold shoes, jewery and everything under the sun. I've been just about everything one could be without a college degree. I do have a degree in GayLiving and Better Living with Chemistry. I could write a book on how to have sex with a different man every night. How to find the best drugs in town. And how to walk upright after two days of non-stop drinking. Not exactly admissions you'd wanna frame on your wall. So...who am I now? That's the question I pose to myself these days.
According to the manuel for better Gayliving, I'm a really old man. Any guy over thirty is way past his prime. I can remember thinking how old forty sounded. How old forty looked on men back then. And now I'm going to be fifty in September. Wow! What happened? Like Rip van Winkle, I seemed to have slept through most of my life. Of course that's not true. If I really put my mind to it, the images, the memories come flooding back in a rush that would send most sane men deep into a walking coma. So many faces of men. So many times taking that short cut to intimacy hoping to find Mr. Right. My my...what a joke that was on me. I can tell you with great confidence now, that Mr. Right isn't out there hanging on a meat hook. He's usually standing right there in front of you. The two men I've loved most in the world were men I ran across but bodily fluids were not exchanged. Like Jerry who was with John Ed in Atlanta while I was there in the early eighties and David, who as a very young kid in Mobile came across my path. How odd life is sometimes. I hope after we die, we discover there is some meaning to this mortal coil existence otherwise I'll probably loose whatever favor I have with the Good Lord.
I'm a gentle man, not too bad looking, kind of nice like an old pair of levi jeans and quite loveable. The term loveable triggers the thought of him. I think of David often. Of the things we did together and the times we talked quietley in the night coming down from a cocaine high...both of us stoned and doing vodka shots. Playing yatzy or dominoes and listening to his club music. The frozen moments of the past when he looked at me and time stood still. I think to myself I'll never feel that way again and yet even as I think it, say it or right now writing it, I know it's not true. I have alot of love in my heart. I have been so starved for love all my life and now I realize its not what you get out of love but what you give in love. Who am I. I'm a LOVER of men. A gayman in search of another gayman to share and exemplify the greatest thing on earth. To Love !
posted by David at 4:16 AM
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